


It's About Time

by mostlikelydefinentlymad



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Steve is protective, bucky is skiddish, stand alone fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 07:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4426403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlikelydefinentlymad/pseuds/mostlikelydefinentlymad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’ve been too many times when I’ve drowned you with these perfect lines<br/>And you’ve heard me say that I can cure you<br/>This morning I woke up with this overwhelming fear of love<br/>And I’m not sure if I can resurrect you</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's About Time

**Author's Note:**

> post Winter Soldier. Steve has found Bucky and though they don't even have a foundation to work with, there's hope. [summary from It's About Time, by Barcelona]

"I thought you were dead,"  Steve uttered and it came out more angry than he'd hoped.

"I wish I were,"  Bucky is curled into a tight ball on a well worn black chair in the corner of a beaten down apartment in the wrong side of town. Steve had chose it in hopes that they would be safer there, would blend in.

With all of SHIELD looking for Bucky Steve knew he should do the right thing and turn him in but he was still his best friend, still the auburn haired kid with mischief in his eyes. The same boy he'd spent many a sleepover with, the two of them putting couch cushions on the floor and laughing until well after midnight. Somewhere under that long hair and wounded eyes was James Buchanan Barnes.

He was wearing a tattered black jacket with the front open, blue plaid shirt underneath and a black hat still on his head. There was at least two weeks worth of scruff on his face but Steve would recognize him anywhere. He'd searched what seemed like the ends of the earth before Bucky allowed himself to be found, with the promise that Steve wouldn't expose him. Bucky looked _hollow_ \- like somebody reached in and removed everything that had ever made him who he was.

"I'm glad you're alive, Buck,"  Steve took a seat on the couch opposite of Bucky and puts his head in his hands. Bucky had been back for nearly a week and Steve felt as if he might flee at any given moment and disappear from his life again. He couldn't bare it.

Bucky gave him a quick glance before averting his eyes, staring at his feet instead. He'd declined Steve's offer to wear some of his clothes choosing instead to hold onto the only belongings he had left in the world even though they were stained with someone else' blood.

"I remember....falling. You pushed me behind you but I still fell,"  Bucky mumbled so softly that Steve could barely hear him. He scooted closer on the couch but still kept his distance.

Steve felt like screaming, crying... _anything._ His chest felt like it might just break open at any given moment. He wanted to rip apart every person who ever laid a finger on him.

"I'm sorry,"  it's weak and it feels like nothing at all but it's all he has to offer.

Bucky shuddered for a moment as if he were remembering something painful, traumatic. He hugged his jacket tighter to his chest but straightened his legs in front of him, his right leg bouncing up and down with tension.

"You were in the Potomac River, I saw you fall,"  Bucky said with a shaky voice. He wasn't sure what was real or fabricated anymore.

"You pulled me out,"  Steve retorted. He wanted to know why but now wasn't the right time.

"They want to kill me, to put me in that...that chair,"  Bucky looked like a trapped animal and it was all Steve could do to sit there and not touch him. Even on the battlefield he'd kept on a stony face, refusing to break but _now_...

"You're safe here, I won't let them take you,"  Steve could feel his blood boiling at the thought of anyone touching Bucky. He'd been through hell, he refused to force him to go back.

Bucky's breathing seemed to slowly calm, his knee halting its movement. He allowed his arms to fall at his side, to just _breathe._

"Can I...is it okay if I...,"  Steve felt selfish asking for anything at all from Bucky but it was the one thing he needed - to put his arms around him and know that he's real, that hes actually there.

He caught a hint of panic in Bucky's eyes.

"I wasn't going to...I was...I was going to hug you. That's all but if you don't want to it's okay,"  Steve stumbled over his words and regretted the moment they left his mouth.

To his surprise Bucky merely nodded.

He moved slowly so as to not scare him, kneeling beside of the chair slightly. He, Steve Rogers - Captain America, was terrified. He could take on monsters and Hydra but this...

As gently as he could manage he slid his arms around Bucky's shoulders.  After a moment he moved to pull away, surprised when a cold metal arm wrapped around his waist and held on tight.

He buried his face in Bucky's neck and hoped he wasn't crossing boundaries he had no right crossing.

For as long as he could remember he'd loved Bucky. Not in the way that you would love a brother or even a brother in arms but in the way that seeped into his veins and haunted his dreams, in the way that flowers bend toward the sun he was drawn to him and always had been. He was _oxygen._ There had never been a right time to say it and in that decade they wouldn't have made it far even if Bucky felt the same and then he'd lost him...

Bucky didn't move, just leaned into the hug as if all the world was ending around them and Steve was his saving grace.

"I missed you Buck,"  Steve said as he reluctantly released Bucky.

Bucky didn't reply but met his eyes and for a moment he could see the Bucky he remembered. It was gone all too soon, replaced by anguished eyes who had seen far too much, lost too much.

"I love you Bucky. I always have and I don't expect you to say anything back. I just needed you to know. I'm going to keep you safe," Steve said in a rush. He needed Bucky to stick around and maybe it was selfish but he didn't care.

Bucky simply stared back with an expression Steve couldn't read.

After a moment he nodded his head and curled his arms back around himself.

 

It wasn't perfect but it was something, a beginning.

 


End file.
